Here are some more

Capital Punishment in the Bahamas.

Jaws was doing stand-up one night. He was a knee-eater...I mean slapper.
The luxurious "Royal Towers" where Kelly and I stayed and were treated like kings!

Oh right, Kelly was a queen... is a queen. (Do I still get a Christmas present?)

Sorry, even I run out of sarcasm once in a while, besides, sarcasm is a weak form of humor. I am above it.